No Easy Button: How Therapists Build Grit + Confidence
There’s No Easy Button—Here’s How Therapists Really Build Grit (and Confidence)
There’s no easy button. But there is a way forward.
If only therapy came with a red “easy button,” right?
Press it, and suddenly your notes are done, your sessions land perfectly, and your nervous system feels calm again.
Except… it doesn’t exist.
We live in a culture that promises comfort. But therapy—both the work you do and the work you live—isn’t easy. It’s emotional, unpredictable, and deeply human. And that’s exactly where your grit is built.
In this episode of the Gettin’ Gritty Podcast, we (Stef & Cathy) unpack what the “easy button” myth has done to us as therapists, how we’ve learned to lean into discomfort, and why the moments that make you squirm are the ones that make you strong. As the gritty gals say, “You’ll never feel 100% ready. Confidence comes after you take the risk.”
Why We All Want the Easy Button
We get asked all the time by our therapists in The Gritty Academy:
Is it normal to feel like a “bad therapist”?
Absolutely. Feeling unqualified is part of learning—your confidence grows through the discomfort.
Do I need another training to feel confident?
Nope. Trainings help, but practice + supervision build confidence faster than certificates.
How do I stop replaying sessions at night?
Try the 90-second reset, jot down one win, and bring the session to supervision.
What’s one thing I can do tomorrow?
Be honest with one client about something new you’re trying. You’ll both grow from it.
You see, we have been marketed to expect “ease” in everything—productivity, parenting, even self-care. And when something feels hard, our first thought is, What’s wrong with me?
Nothing’s wrong with you.
It’s supposed to be hard.
That’s how you grow grit.
Therapy isn’t meant to be comfortable. It’s meant to be transformative—for your clients and for you. The truth is, every “easy” professional you admire went through the same messy middle you’re in right now. They just kept showing up.
From Bus Duty to the Therapy Room: Where Grit Starts
Neither of us started our careers in sleek private practices. We started as school counselors—doing bus duty, breakfast supervision, and managing cafeteria chaos. Those ordinary, unglamorous tasks built more than endurance—they built empathy, focus, and patience.
And those are the same muscles you use in the therapy room when a client’s story catches you off guard or a session takes an unexpected turn.
Here’s the truth: the unglamorous parts of your work are not wasted.
They’re grit training in disguise. Keep going. Keep pressing in.
The EMDR Moment: When the Manual Isn’t Enough
Stef’s first EMDR session? Manual open, tappers ready… and almost thirty minutes of saying one phrase:
“Go with that.”
Over. And over. Again.
The client didn’t complain—but Stef left feeling mortified.
The lesson? Manuals are maps, not drivers. You can’t learn confidence by memorizing a script. You learn it by using the tool, adjusting, following your intuition and trying again.
Try this script when you’re practicing something new during a client session:
“I learned a process that might help with [specific issue]. It’s newer for me, so we’ll go slow, check in often, and pivot together if needed.”
That kind of honesty builds trust with your clients faster than perfection ever could.
The 2AM Laundry Room Moment
If you’ve ever replayed a session over and over in your head, you’re in good company.
Kathy once found herself crying in the laundry room at 2am after a tough case—spinning on what she could’ve said differently. That night didn’t end in burnout. It ended in grit. Because she got up the next day, came back, and kept going.
We all have those moments.
They don’t mean you’re bad at this.
They mean you care deeply, and that’s where your growth lives.
Grit Grows Faster in Community
Here’s the thing: you can’t gain grit in isolation.
Supervision, peer consults, and therapy friendships are where your confidence gets sharpened.
We still rely on our people. And if you’re newer in your career, this is your permission slip to lean on yours. Bring your hard moments to supervision. Ask for feedback. Let someone else see the messy parts.
“Supervision doesn’t expose your weakness—it multiplies your strength.”
When “Easy” Isn’t Coming—Here’s What to Do Instead
You can’t skip the grit, but you can move through it with intention.
Try this 90-second nervous system reset (for your car, your kitchen, or between clients):
Exhale longer than you inhale (4 in, 6–8 out) × 5 rounds.
Name 5 things you see, 3 things you hear, 1 thing you feel.
Reframe: “Today grew my grit. One thing I’ll repeat, one thing I’ll tweak.
Small resets keep you grounded—especially when your nervous system wants to check out.
How to Keep Building Grit This Week
You don’t need a five-step plan. You just need your next rep.
Book supervision or a consult—even a 15-minute check-in.
Use the honesty script with one client.
Try one new tool, even if it feels clunky.
Do the 90-second reset after your longest day.
Write down one win—proof you can pull from next time you doubt yourself.
That’s how real therapists build real confidence.
The Grit Behind the Greats
We joke about Peyton Manning a lot on the podcast (Cathy’s a die-hard Broncos fan). But he’s a perfect example:
We only see the polished, game-day version. Not the 10-year-old practicing throws, the missed passes, or the long nights watching tape.
It’s the same in therapy.
Your “highlight reel” will come later, but only because you stayed through the grind.
You might feel like you are barely getting by, like you’re just showing up day after day…and yet…one day you will look up and realize by you showing up each day you actually started learning, growing, and developing in your therapy skillset.
Each day you put one foot in front of the other slowly gave you more insight into your clients, it built up your endurance, it fine-tuned your intuition. What once felt endlessly hard is now like muscle-memory for you. And it all comes from showing up and trying again.
Your Grit Is Already Growing
Every time you show up to a session that scares you, every time you sit with discomfort instead of fixing it, every time you’re honest about not having all the answers—you ARE building grit.
There’s no easy button, but there is growth, clarity, and confidence waiting on the other side of uncomfortable.
So take a breath, lean in, and keep going. Because the therapist you want to be is already in progress.
Let’s get gritty,
Stef + Cathy
Resources Mentioned in This Episode
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So if you’ve ever thought, “I don’t know enough,” or felt like there’s a gap between theory and practical tools that you can start using tomorrow in client sessions, then we have some clinical resources that could work really well for you…👇
