Why High-Achieving Therapists Develop Coping Behaviors: How the Primal Question Changed My Life
Hey there! It's Stefanie with The Gritty Therapist. Before we begin this episode here's what I want you to know: this isn’t an episode telling you to stop drinking. It’s an invitation to get curious about the behaviors you reach for when your internal answer to your Primal Question feels like a “no” or a “maybe.”
In this honest solo episode, I share how understanding my Primal Question—“Am I loved?” or “Am I wanted?”—helped me recognize my dependence on alcohol and ultimately helped me quit drinking altogether.
Alcohol had become more than a way to unwind after stressful days as a mental health therapist. It offered me a quick sense of connection, belonging, and relief from loneliness.
I explore how therapists can absorb the emotional weight of their work and unknowingly turn to alcohol, doomscrolling, overworking, exercise, or other coping behaviors to escape discomfort. Some of these patterns may even look healthy from the outside while quietly getting in the way.
In this episode, you’ll hear:
How understanding your Primal Question can influence coping behaviors
Why high-stress therapy work can leave clinicians vulnerable to numbing
The relationship between loneliness, connection, and alcohol
How I used curiosity and compassion to challenge my “kid logic”
Why self-awareness matters for therapists inside and outside the therapy room
A practical reflection to help you identify what you may be using to find safety
Ask yourself: Is there something I’m doing to escape that helps answer my Primal Question with a yes and is it still serving me?
Real talk for real-life therapists. Growth starts with getting gritty.
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